Home > Uncategorized > The Altima, Part Four: Turning Stone ’09

The Altima, Part Four: Turning Stone ’09

Due to my spectacular 2nd year of classes, I would be returning to Delhi in the fall of 2009 to once again attempt to complete my degree. For the second straight year, I got shit for hours at Lowe’s again. With the Altima out of alignment, the tires being bald, and me being broke, the car sat for about 5 weeks until the bank decided to trust me enough to get a loan to fix it. While waiting for the loan to go through, Satchel was planning year two of the Turning Stone adventure, which was to be a week of drinking and gambling out in western NY. Since Hacker was flying in and Satch had no car, I was our only hope of getting out there. After 5 weeks of sitting, I fired up the Altima and drove it up to the garage, noticing an odd slight grinding of the brakes. A few days later, I was driving again, and this time there was a slight squeak of the brakes. After picking up Hack at the airport and being demoted to the backseat of my own car before we hit the highway due to stellar driving techniques, it was time for a good night of rest before our 8 hour drive the next day.

The next morning went off without too much of a hitch. Satchel was moderately groveling, as it is rare for him to wake before 11am during the summer if he isn’t going to work. Justin got us our bottles of Evan Williams and Zvenka (as 20 and 19 year olds are capable of liquor purchases) and we were off. The trip was rather uneventful, other than everyone screaming in my ear on I-90 as I played the gas mileage game again despite the fact that almost all the exits on this highway are 10-15 miles apart. That and Hack and Satchel being mad as all I had for the entire trip was 40 dollars and they would be footing the gas bill both ways.

Getting in wasnt bad, as we had a solid room and cable tv, good enough in my opinion. We immediately proceded to start cranking into the Zhenka and starting our 6 day assault on room service and eating chinese all three meals a day for the entire stay. The second day we convinced Rob to drive all the way out from Massachusetts in the Dog-Cage Volvo, and were skyping with Beckett to convince him to drive out as well when Hack decided to get crazy. While trying to show off by taking shots, he kicked the bottle of Evan Williams off the table which then proceeded to dump completely all over the floor and mostly into his sandals. This cut our alcohol supply in half. Lucky for us, The Hack is relatively good at Texas Hold ‘Em and a member of a poker forum where he then posted asking if anyone was staying at TS for the week. 10 minutes later he recieves a post from a guy who happens to be staying in a room- directly above us who happened to have enough beer for 10 people. 20 minutes later, I’m back in the room with this:

Yes, that is a suitcase with 61 beers in it. this managed to last us about 2.5 days, as we started playing beer pong as soon as Rob got there using our room service trays as the tables. During the time we did actually gamble downstairs, Satch and Hack broke about even, I lost my 40 dollars, and Rob set a record by losing 35o at the blackjack tables in 5 minutes.

The weirdest moment was right before Beckett arrived. We were all over by the slot machines and two dudes and some girl show up and almost managed to convince Satch to go with them by himself to the parking garage to buy weed (which we needed badly anyway). Me and Hack follow them out there (while Rob sobbed away at the other tables as if he was watching a Notre Dame game (a college he doesn’t even go to). As we’re walking to the dude’s vehicles to buy the weed, the three guys (there was now a third guy and another girl with them) reveal themselves to be “pimps” and attempt to sell the girls off to us for the night. After talking it over, hack decides that we (I) can’t afford it, along with the fact that Rob and Beckett would be unable to control themselves in this situation. We ended up never seeing these 5 again.

Once Beckett got there, things sucked in the room, as there were now 5 people in a 2 person room, with Satch and Hack in the bed, Rob in the chair, Beckett on the floor , and me on what seemed to be a combination of a footrest and a futon. Satch spent an entire night hugging the toilet, we chucked all the leftover marinara sauce from our mozzarella sticks at Hack as he was taking a shower. Of course, the TS cleaning ladies had 6 joyful days of cleaning our room (the Evan Williams smell never came out). Beckett managed to be rather good at the craps tables as he was there long enough for me to double fist two rootbeer & vodkas and refill them while I watched him. Of course it’s supposed to be illegal to just waltz around with an open beer in your hand but there I was just drinking away right out on the casino floor. After he finally got beat at craps, he went over to the slots where he managed to somehow win 50 bucks. Drunk Rob & Drunk Satch then made the best move of all-time by hitting max bet three times in a row and losing all 50 dollars in less than 30 seconds.

The last two days, Rob and Beckett drove home, Rob crying on the phone because he lost so much money he almost didn’t have enough to pay the tolls. Satch and Hack cashed out and then got the final hotel bill, where we found out that we managed to spend over $1,400 in room service over 6 days. We dropped Hack off at the airport and drove back to NH.

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