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Body Hair

Before I get back to the tale of the Altima, this is a topic I’d like to cover first. It sucks, and I know firsthand how bad it is as a dude to grow it everywhere. However, there’s one thing that drives me nuts. Every morning out here, I get up around 530-540 to get ready to go on shift. And every morning, at about the same time I’m shaving/brushing my teeth, this fat guy who works for the State Department comes waddling/limping around the corner from the showers. It would be one thing if the guy was dressed, but he always decides to shave/brush his teeth with shorts and no shirt on. Its one thing to be fat, and its one thing to have a good amount of body hair, but when you mix the two, its a recipe for disaster. I have to look in the mirror to shave, and this guy always decides to take the sink directly behind me. Its already hard enough trying to get the hairs on the corner of my face, but when I have to do it with a view of this guy’s afro hair back looking back at me, I almost lose it. I guess what it is, is apparently this guy is just proud of looking like a gorilla. Its like that one summer after high school when Chan was so proud of his 10 chest hairs, that he played every sport with no shirt on, I guess in an attempt to move his chances with Katie Boivin out of the friend zone. But like Adam Brammer and drinking beer at a college party, that was never gonna happen. This guy apparently just comes in thinking 7’s wherever he goes. Like  escorting Afghans through my office while eating food as if he’s Starvin Marvin. I guess as one of my coworkers said, when you work for a government agency like the State Department, I guess you don’t really give a fuck about anyone but yourself and your job.

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